Three days passed quickly, and the morning of their departure, all of the senshi - even Niki - were up at five o'clock, too nervous and excited to go back to sleep. Several hours later, the senshi (plus a cat) jammed into a single taxi cab. Krystina had arranged for three taxi cabs, but their excessive amounts of luggage completely filled up the other two.
Five minutes after leaving the hotel, the senshi came to the conclusion that it was inhumanly possible to survive the thirty minute ride with seven people (plus the driver) crowded into a single taxi. Six human passengers was the absolute maximum.
They held a poll, and with a vote of six to one, almost unanimously, they kicked Bob out. To clear their consciences, the senshi maintained that because the London traffic was so terrible, Bob wouldn't have any trouble keeping up with the taxi, and could, in the meantime, enjoy the city sights firsthand. Besides, she needed the exercise.
After a rather enjoyable ride, the senshi reached King's Cross at half-past ten. Five minutes later, a sweaty and red-faced Bob huffed and puffed her way over to where they were huddled, staring at the brick wall between platforms nine and ten.
"What are you doing?" Bob wheezed after she caught her breath. She was beyond exhausted, and when she tried to lean her fatigued body against Valerie's shoulder for support, Valerie promptly stepped away. Bob collapsed to the ground.
"Now, Valerie," Vanessa admonished. "That wasn't very nice."
"Her smelly body isn't very nice either," Valerie shot back. "But you don't see me complaining."
"She's got a point," Julie said, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "Bob looks like she just ran fifteen miles."
"That's funny," Bob wheezed angrily. "Because I just did."
Julie covered her nose with her hands. "Well then, that would explain the stench."
"The answer to your earlier question, Bob," Mallory said, "Is that we are trying to find platform nine and three-quarters. But it doesn't seem to exist."
Eva stepped up to the brick wall where the signs for platforms nine and ten hung on either side and squinted. "Maybe it's very, very small."
"That doesn't make any sense at all," Julie said, frowning. "How are we supposed to get onto a platform that's so tiny we can't even see it?"
"Wait a minute!" Mallory shouted excitedly. "I think she's on to something." The others stared at her, waiting for her to continue. "What?" she said when she noticed their stares. "I said that I think she's on to something. I didn't say that I knew what that something was."
"I may just have an idea," Niki said. Everyone stared at her. Mallory breathed a relieved sigh that the attention was finally drawn from her. She tended to crack under pressure.
Niki paced slowly in front of the platform. "Now, what we are dealing with is simply a mathematical problem. I really suck at math, so help me out here." She stopped directly in front of the brick wall and turned her back to it, facing the other senshi. "What you see before you is a wall."
"No, really?" Unfortunately for the others, Bob had recovered enough that she was now completely capable of saying sarcastic, cruel things without having to wheeze painfully in between words. Julie kicked Bob in the stomach. A quick remedy to that problem. Bob let out a groan and was silent.
"As you can also see," Niki continued after hi-fiving Julie, "on either side of this brick wall are the platforms nine and ten. Correct me if I am mistaken, but the number nine and three-quarters, though not an integer as most platform numbers are, falls somewhere three-quarters of the way between the numbers nine and ten." The others nodded in agreement.
Niki smiled. "Therefore, I have deduced that because of the aforementioned facts, the platform lies between platform nine and platform ten."
Julie rolled her eyes. "Where the wall is?"
"Exactly."
"Huh?"
Niki took several steps away from the wall. She grabbed her many bags and her owl and grinned at the others. "Just follow me." She broke into a run, heading straight for the wall. The others covered their eyes, not wanting to see the impending moment of what was sure to be, judging by the size of the wall, a very painful impact.
There was no impact. Niki ran right through the wall.
"Niki's gone!" Mallory yelled the second she opened her eyes.
The others opened theirs too.
"But I saw her headed straight for the wall . . ." Eva trailed off. "Judging by the angle and velocity at which she was moving, there was no way she could have veered off at the last minute when I closed my eyes. Not without suffering a severe injury, at least."
"Which only leaves one possibility." Vanessa looked at the wall in amazement. "She must have run through it."
"It wouldn't be the first time Niki has run towards seemingly solid, large, squareish pieces of matter, only to disappear upon the moment of impact," Valerie reminded her. She studied the wall. "Though I admit that the wall is a bit larger and more rectangular-shaped than the TV was."
Julie tapped the wall with her fist. "It's a bit harder than a TV too," she said. She shook her head in amazement. "Why Niki constantly pulls this kind of stunt is beyond me. Judging by what we did and did not see, it appears that Niki ran through the wall, despite the overwhelming odds that she would smash painfully against it."
Mallory gazed at the wall in wonder. "It's as though . . . there is no wall."
"Ohh," Valerie said. "Deep."
"Well, there's only one way to find out for sure," Julie said cheerfully. "One of us must follow in Niki's rather oddly-shaped footsteps and do as she did. I need a volunteer." She lugged Bob to her feet. "You'll do."
"Why me?" Bob whined. "Haven't I run enough today?"
"Do you WANT me to kick you again?"
"Fine, I'll do it." She staggered over to her luggage and the metal rat cage and dragged them to where Niki had been only moments before. Bob sighed heavily. She broke into a weak, half-hearted attempt at a run, headed for the wall. A moment later, she was gone.
Julie nodded in satisfaction. "It works, then. It appears our friend Niki isn't as stupid as she looks."
"Or as stupid as we always thought she was," Valerie added. She grabbed her luggage and her owl and faced the non-existent platform. "Me next."
After the senshi had run through the wall, luggage in hand, to find Niki, safely on the other side of the platform, they took time to look around them in awe. The non-existent platform sure seemed to exist. Instead of signs for platforms nine and ten on either side of the brick wall, there was now a sign for Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, smack dab three-fourths of the way across it.
Julie knocked on the wall as she had done before running through it. It was as solid as ever. "Weird," she whispered. Turning away from the wall, Julie saw a bright scarlet steam engine with 'Hogwarts Express' scripted on the side in gold. Milling around the train were dozens of strangely dressed people, the majority of them teenagers all dressed alike in long, flowing gown-like school uniforms.
"Look how cute!" Valerie gushed the moment she saw the uniforms, her eyes wide and shining. "After years of being anti-school uniforms, I suddenly have the strangest desire to rip a uniform off of the nearest passing person and wear it myself."
"For all of our sakes, please don't," Mallory said.
Niki eyed the uniforms. "I admit, they are ridiculously adorable. But I think they'd look even cuter if they were made completely out of feathers. Like owls."
Julie shot Niki an odd look. "You need to get over your obsession. Like now. You're really starting to scare us."
"Me scaring you is a recent development?" Niki asked, puzzled.
Suddenly, an ear-piercing whistle sounded as the train suddenly came to life. Upon looking around, the senshi were stunned to realize that the uniform-clad people that had been walking around only moments before were now all leaning out the train windows, signaling for the senshi to hurry and get on.
"Oh no!" Bob cried, now fully recovered from Julie's brutal kick. "They're going to leave without us! That was sudden."
"But what about our luggage?" Valerie asked as they hurried to the train doors. She looked around but didn't see their huge mound of bags anywhere. "For that matter, where is our luggage?"
"Vanessa and I took care of the luggage!" Eva yelled down from the train window above their heads.
"How very . . . efficient of you!" Mallory yelled back.
"Come on!" The senshi still outside the train could hear Vanessa yell. "We saved you guys seats! Hurry up! I think the train is starting to leave the station!"
Sure enough, the train had already begun its slow departure and was picking up speed by the time Valerie, Bob, Niki, and Mallory made it to the open door and jumped onto the moving train. Julie, bringing up the rear, grabbed onto the railing and pulled herself inside. Just as the doors were closing, she gave an excited whoop and yelled, "Hogwarts! Here we come!"
The train ride to Hogwarts proved to be even more entertaining than the plane ride to London had been. Because they boarded so late, the only compartment that wasn't filled was the one at the very back of the train. The senshi, except Bob who left to use the bathroom, crowded into the compartment. Even though there was plenty of room, Valerie and Julie insisted that everyone lie down on the seats so that when Bob returned she would be forced to sit on the floor.
Mallory, Eva and Vanessa poured over random books about Hogwarts and the wizard world in general, sharing random facts aloud every few minutes. Valerie and Niki amused themselves by admiring the scenery as it flew by and getting over-excited by the mundane things they saw such as cows, sheep, and the sky.
Julie chose to focus all of her attention on Bob and how much fun it was to smack her over the head with a wand every few minutes and then point innocently towards Valerie whenever the vengeful blonde looked up. Bob sat on the floor playing with Rattigan while thinking of all of the mean ways she would get Valerie back, even though, for once in her life, Valerie actually hadn't done anything overly mean to Bob. Yet.
After awhile, even hitting Bob over the head got old, and Julie left the back compartment to see if there were any people more stimulating than the other senshi. (It would be really sad if there wasn't, seeing as how all the senshi put together were about as stimulating as a troupe of circus fleas).
Several hours into the journey, a woman pushing a cart loaded with random goodies rolled into the compartment. Bob, fearing that the woman might accidently roll over Rattigan, protected the rat by encircling it with her arms. So the woman rolled over Bob instead.
When Valerie saw the cart (even though it didn't carry any airheads - what a pity), her eyes lit up. She pulled out a fist-full of coins, paid for everything remaining on the cart, and then treated everyone (but Bob) to a sugary feast.
Bob, already annoyed with Valerie for hitting her over the head with a wand, tried to make Rattigan bite her ankle. However Valerie, always on the lookout for personal attacks (since so many people tried to avenge their own injured ears), was ready for it. She kicked the unattractive rat across the compartment where it hit the wall with a smack and fell, unmoving, to the ground.
"Field goal!" Valerie yelled, raising both her arms in the air as the rat hit the wall. "Ten points!"
"Actually," Mallory corrected her, "a field goal is worth three points. Not ten."
Valerie shot Mallory a suspicious look. "And how would you know that, most un-athletic one?"
"I'm in the band. I've been forced against my will to attend school football games for many a year. I've learned random sports facts not by choice, but by default."
"A pity."
"Indeed."
"Maybe that will change," Vanessa said, bringing a large, leather-bound book over to where Valerie and Mallory were sprawled out on the seats. Bob, meanwhile, was trying revive the senseless rodent by using CPR (among other things).
"What will change?" Mallory asked.
"Your aversion to all things physical. Check it out." Vanessa handed Quidditch Through the Ages to Mallory who began flipping through it. "Apparently, the wizard world has its own unique sport involving flying brooms and several different sized balls. The goal is to throw one ball through hoops while attempting to catch another and using bats to hit the other team's players with the two remaining balls."
"Ooh . . . organized violence," Valerie rubbed her chin thoughtfully as she got a better look at a diagram explaining the positions of the players. "I'm intrigued. Do tell more."
But before Vanessa could explain the finer points of the violent game, the compartment door slid open and a robe-clad Julie returned from her hopeless journey to find intelligent life forms. "Has anyone seen a toad? Some boy's lost one."
Valerie looked around for a few moments and then stopped when her eyes fell on Bob. She pointed to the blonde. "There's a toad!"
They all had a good laugh over that one.
"You'd better hurry up and put your robes on," Julie added. "I've just been up to the front to ask the conductor, and he says we're nearly there. I only came in here because people outside are behaving very childishly, racing up and down the corridors. It's a good thing none of you . . ." Julie stopped herself as she saw Niki leap off the back of one of the seats and come crashing to the ground on top of Bob.
The senshi gathered quickly around the pileup to make sure that Niki was okay (while silently praying that Bob wasn't).
"I'm not even going to ask," Julie said, shaking her head as she pulled Niki off Bob. "And yet . . ." She cried out suddenly and shoved Niki away from her when she noticed that Rattigan was dangling from his tail between Niki's two front teeth. "What the hell?!"
Niki pulled Rattigan out of her mouth and tossed it to Bob who cuddled the abused rat to her chest. "In case you were wondering, I was imitating a northern snow owl as it swoops silently down upon its prey, the common rodent. I saw it on the Discovery channel the other night. I think I did it quite spectacularly, and I can't wait to try again. Anyone with me?"
Luckily for the other senshi who were all feeling a bit weirded out by Niki's obsession (even Valerie, the crazy one), the Hogwarts Express chose that moment to come to a screeching halt. Everything else was forgotten as the main doors slid open and robe-clad young witches and wizards began pouring from the many compartments.
"Finally!" Eva cried, grabbing her staff (which she never seemed to be without) and her caged owl. "Here at last!"
"Isn't it funny," Mallory said a moment later, "how we keep speaking, for no apparent reason, in British accents?"
"Europe can do that to you," Niki said wisely.
It took the senshi a ridiculously long amount of time to actually make it out of the train since they had been situated in the very back compartment. Once they made their way to join the other first years who were standing at the edge of a black lake, waiting to be seated in small, wooden boats, the senshi were instructed to go back to the train and leave their luggage where they were sitting, which is what they were supposed to do in the first place. Unfortunately, they were so used to completely ignoring the intercom system at school, they had completely missed the announcement when it had been broadcasted to the entire train.
Half an hour later, (twice the length of time it would have taken normal people), the senshi finally made it back from the train to the edge of the lake, and they realized that they had been left behind. They could barely make out the boats carrying first years docking on the other side of the black lake near a vast castle with many turrets and towers. The castle's hundreds of windows twinkled like shining stars over the immense lake. It was Hogwarts.
A single boat remained tied to the dock, apparently meant for them.
"Okay," Julie said after she had paced back in forth a few times in front of the dock, silently appraising the boat. "It appears that this water craft was meant for approximately four people. Since most of us (at this point she shot Vanessa a dirty look) are pleasantly petite, six of us should be able to squeeze into the boat without too many problems. Unfortunately, there's seven of us, not six."
Valerie gave Bob a not-so-friendly pat on the back and pushed her towards the edge of the dock, away from the boat. "Sorry blondie, looks like you're swimming it."
As Bob stood on the deck, fuming silently while shaking her fist in the air and muttering curse words, the others happily climbed into the boat and began the last, watery leg of their journey to Hogwarts.
A short time later, the senshi, with the exception of Bob, stood on what could only be referred to as Hogwarts' front porch. A huge oak door loomed over them. They tried the handle. It wouldn't budge. Julie raised a hand to knock, but Eva stopped her.
"I think we're a little late," she said. "It would be rude to disturb them now. Maybe we should just wait patiently until they're done and then knock."
Julie took Eva's suggestion into consideration for about two seconds and then tossed it aside. "The only problem with your idea," Julie informed her, "is that I don't see free food and warm shelter as part of the picture any time soon. And right now, I'm hungry, and this European air is just a bit nippier than Loserville's, so I'm knocking."
That decided, Julie once again raised her fist, but before she could make a sound, the giant oak door slid quietly open. A stern, elderly woman clad in emerald robes and a pointed hat stepped outside the door, holding a lit candelabra up so she could get a good look at the teenage girls.
The woman gave a slight nod, as though in recognition and stepped aside, gesturing for the senshi to enter with the candelabra. "So you decided to come after all. Very well. I am Professor McGonagall. We've been expecting you. The Great Hall is this way. The start-of-term banquet has already begun, and I believe that the sorting will begin shortly as well. Follow me."
Without saying a word, the wide-eyed senshi hesitated before following the professor through a dark, candle-lit hallway. Behind them, the oak doors slid silently closed and bolted shut. The senshi had no choice but to continue down the eerie hallway to an unknown destination (except, you know, it wasn't really).
It wasn't long before the dark hallway opened up into a well-lit corridor which then, in turn, opened up into a huge room, filled to the brim with hundreds of chattering young people, all wearing long, black robes. Four ridiculously long tables stretched the entire length of the room, covered in food and surrounded by the senshi's fellow train mates. At the far end of the room, there was a table perpendicular to the others where a dozen teachers (all of them tiny specks to the senshi) sat, eating, and laughing as well.
Mallory jabbed Valerie and Niki painfully in the sides with her elbows to get their attention as she pointed excitedly to the ceiling, which didn't actually appear to be there. "It's bewitched to look like the sky outside," she explained. "I read about it in Hogwarts: A History."
"Fascinating," Julie said when she overheard Mallory's explanation, clearly neither fascinated nor really paying attention. Instead, she was focused entirely on her favorite dish, rabbit stew, which was simmering on a table, just in reach. Quietly, she slid into an empty seat and, less quietly, began devouring everything in sight. The other senshi, being the obedient followers they were, quickly joined their leader in her pigging-out fest.
The senshi (with the exception of Vanessa, the good one) became so engrossed in their eating that they didn't notice when the entire hall became silent as all eyes (but their own) were eagerly watching the journey of a tattered hat as it was carried, along with a stool, across the hall to a position directly in front of the teacher's table at the back of the hall.
It wasn't until the tattered hat, securely situated on the stool, broke out into song in the silent hall that the senshi even bothered to look up from their meals and attempt to pay attention to the bewitched hat. And this is what it sang:
I am a hat as you can see.
There's no other hat, grand as me.
I'm worn and torn with years gone by.
I love to talk, but never lie.
And now alone, my very song,
Will tell you where you each belong.
But do not fear the tales I spin,
For evil almost never wins.
So heed to the legend that I tell
Of four enchanters who founded well,
This school in which you will now stay
To learn all magicks from this day.
Great Gryffindor, his aim was true.
Pride and bravery were all he knew.
If from evil you like to hide,
Your place won't be at Gryffindor's side.
Just Hufflepuff, known to be kind,
Was quick to judge a loyal mind.
If you don't believe in what is right,
Hufflepuff won't lie in your sight.
Wise Ravenclaw, both shrewd and keen,
Had no love for those dumb or mean.
For those whose knowledge will never grow,
Ravenclaw's House you'll never know.
Fiendish Slytherin, never very nice,
Was only filled with hate and vice.
Those who are cruel without much care
May prove to be evil Slytherin's heir.
Now put me on and I will say
The House which you will join today.
And happiness you'll find your house in,
So long as you're not in Slytherin.
The whole hall burst into applause as the hat finished its song. The hat bowed and the hall quieted down as everyone once again turned their attention to the woman in emerald robes who held up a long roll of parchment and cleared her throat. "Aalders, Ann!" Professor McGonagall called out.
A short girl with long, braided hair left the corner where all the first years (but the senshi) were standing and sat down on the stool at the center of the room. The Sorting Hat was placed on her head and a moment later it called out a name and one of the tables erupted into cheers. McGonagall continued the cycle of sitting, sorting, and cheers with "Accardo, David!" followed shortly by "Ambert, Juan!" and a few names later, "Baker, Betty!"
"Did the hat seem biased to you?" Mallory whispered to Valerie, trying too hard not to be confused to pay attention. Valerie only shrugged in response. She was far too amused by the talking hat to really care what it said.
"Oh look!" Valerie said for what had to be the twelfth time since the hat had first started singing. "A talking hat that sings! How very clever! How do you think it works?"
"My guess would be magic," Mallory replied sarcastically.
"Really? Magic? I never would have --"
"Champain, Valerie!"
Valerie froze, mid-sentence when she heard her name announced. The hall once again buzzed to life with sound, this time whispers of recognition. Everyone looked eagerly around, waiting for the new girl to present herself.
"Champain, did she say?"
"The Valerie Champain?"
"What did I do?" Valerie asked, slightly panicked. " Whatever it was, it wasn't me!"
"Weren't you even paying attention?" Vanessa asked. In response, Valerie gave her a look that plainly said, "why do you even bother asking?" Vanessa shook her head and "tsk, tsked" a bit. "You're being sorted by the hat," she informed her. "It's a tradition for first years. When you put on the hat, it will tell you what house you belong in."
"Champain, Valerie!" McGonagall called again, this time, slightly annoyed.
Valerie stood from the table, still confused (but that's what happens when you don't pay attention), and made her way to the Sorting Hat. As she passed Vanessa, the other senshi gave her a thumbs up and whispered, "whatever you do, try to avoid Slytherin!"
As she crossed the hall, Valerie tried to ignore the pointing and whispers, but she was reminded too much of P.E. freshman year (except without the accompanied insults and fits of laughter). She was so occupied with blocking out everything that was going on, she didn't even notice that the Sorting Hat was on her head until she heard a voice in her ear (one different from the voices she usually heard).
Ah yes, I've been expecting you.
"Have you?" Valerie whispered back.
Indeed. Now, let's see . . . Hmm . . . Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of fearlessness, I see. Though often misplaced, I suppose your headstrong nature and eagerness to face all evils could be mistaken for courage. Not a bad mind either, if you hadn't gone and lost it already. There's talent, oh my goodness, yes -- and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting . . . So where shall I put you?
At this point, Valerie didn't really know what was going on, but she did remember Vanessa's warning. "Not Slytherin?"
Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head . . . your violent nature, your tendency to harm your own friends rather than the enemy--
"Hey! Those were all accidents, you know!"
Well, if you're sure -- better be "GRYFFINDOR!"
Valerie sighed with relief, took off the hat and, amidst the loudest cheer yet, joined the table where the other Gryffindors sat. The cycle of sitting, sorting, and cheering continued.
Because McGonagall was calling the first years in alphabetical order by last names (as opposed to first calling all the main characters - plus a random character who will show up in every other shot - in no particular order whatsoever), Eva was the next senshi to be called for sorting.
Eva's calling was followed by the same string of whispers and questions that had accompanied Valerie's calling. Clearly, everyone knew who they were (not that they should have been surprised since their "disguises" had proven to suck in the past). The only problem was that somewhere along the line, the Sailor Senshi's "heroic deeds" had gotten blown way out of proportion. How else would you explain the reactions they were receiving from everyone else in the hall? Unless everyone was amazed, not by their deeds, but by the senshi's inability to do anything right ever.
Which could be possible.
After a slight incident involving Eva's staff, a bruised head, and a very unhappy emerald-robed witch, Eva was sorted without any more problems into "RAVENCLAW!", due to the enormous amounts of wisdom she had gathered over the millennia while guarding the doorway through time.
The next senshi called was Mallory. Mallory was a bit worried about being sorted, mostly because she thought that the Sorting Hat wouldn't be exactly sure where to put her due to her many character traits and attributes. Perhaps it would have been easier if there was a House for confused people. The hat took a bit longer than usual in making its decision for Mallory's future House.
Hmm . . . Let's see. You're pretty well-rounded. Got a bit of the bravery. As the on-and-off temporary leader, clearly you're not afraid to take charge. You're intelligent enough, though you overanalyzed so often in the past, you fried half your brain cells from overwork, leaving your mind in a permanently confused state.
"Oh! So that's what happened."
You're always loyal to your friends. In fact, the only thing you haven't got is a speck of evil. Why, you wouldn't even hurt a fly!
"Oh, but I did once!" Mallory corrected the hat. "I buried it and said a little prayer. I felt guilty for weeks."
Hmm . . . You're freakishly honest as well. Guess I'll have to resort to the never-failing, old fashioned method of sorting. Which of the following do you prefer? Ravens or badgers?
"Well, since I don't actually know what a badger is, but I do know it has a rather obnoxious death cry, I'd have to say I prefer ravens."
"RAVENCLAW!" The Sorting Hat yelled for the whole hall. Like I said, it told Mallory before she took off the hat. It never fails.
Everyone in the hall, especially the teachers (including McGonagall) seemed especially attentive when Julie was called to be sorted. She really should have been called before Mallory, but they must have spelled her name wrong. Instead of the usual whispers, silence followed Julie's every move and eyes were peeled wide open, careful not to miss anything.
This sorting proved to be uneventful (partly because Julie learned her lesson from Eva and didn't bring anything up to the stool that could be used to accidently bash in the heads of teachers). The Sorting Hat didn't have nearly as long a debating period as it had with Mallory. Less than a minute after the hat settled on Julie's head, it proclaimed "GRYFFINDOR!" and Julie stepped down to join Valerie at the Gryffindor table.
A few names later, Niki was called. She ran to the stool, grabbed the hat from a surprised McGonagall, and eagerly jammed it on her head. She immediately demanded that the hat put her in the House with a walrus as its mascot.
The only problem with that, is that there is no House with a walrus mascot.
"Really?" Niki was heartbroken. "Anything with tusks?"
No! Hush now, I'm trying to ponder. Hm . . . Not an excessive amount of bravery or willingness to do anything involving work of any kind. You have an inherently evil nature, but your complete lack of ambition (and feelings) cancel out the evilness, leaving you neither good nor bad, but somewhat ambiguous at times. Your intelligence is somewhat inhibited by your complete lack of common sense as well as your inability to rationalize anything.
Niki yawned. "Are you going to make up your mind anytime soon? I'm rather tired."
Don't harass me! Let me think . . . Very well, I'll take your obsessive devotion to walruses as a sign of loyalty, and I'll put you in -- "HUFFLEPUFF!"
A satisfied Niki jumped down from the stool, and a few eleven year olds later, was replaced by Vanessa, the last senshi in the Great Hall who hadn't yet been sorted. The hat quickly came to the conclusion that Vanessa belonged in "HUFFLEPUFF!" After all, if continuing to be madly in love with your boyfriend, even after he has been transformed into a furry, black cat isn't loyalty, well then . . . it's pretty damn close.
Sometime later, after "Zorilla, Eugeno" and "Zweifel, Theresa," all of the first years had been sorted into their Houses, and Professor McGonagall was just about to close the parchment when a name scribbled at the very bottom of the list caught her eye.
"Oh . . . it seems there was a last minute enrollment addition," McGonagall said. "Will Bob . . . er . . . just Bob, step forward, you have yet to be sorted?"
Julie stood from the Gryffindor table and cleared her throat. "I regret to inform you, Professor, but Bob will be unable to attend the ceremonies because she has been . . . delayed."
"I am afraid, dear Julie, that you are mistaken. I will indeed be attending tonight's ceremonies."
Julie narrowed her eyes in annoyance and turned towards the main doors of the Great Hall. A soaking wet Bob, complete with seaweed-infested hair, glared back. Her waterlogged shoes squeaked loudly on the polished floors as she walked slowly to where McGonagall and the hat waited.
"I'm sorry I'm late, Professor. I was swimming across the lake just fine until I was attacked by a giant sea monster that tried to molest me. It took awhile for me to break completely free of its tentacles."
"Ew," Mallory said to Eva, a confused frown on her face. "Why would a sea monster want to molest her?"
"I'm not sure," Eva replied. "But what I'm really not sure about is why Bob is being so polite and well-mannered. It's just not natural. She's planning something, I can tell."
"That's perfectly alright," McGonagall said, gesturing for Bob to take a seat on the stool. "I'm just curious as to why you didn't ride in the boats with your friends and the other first year students." When McGonagall looked out into the crowd of students, all of the senshi felt her eyes boring into them, even though they were on different sides of the hall.
"Uh oh," Niki muttered. "Somehow, she knows what went on by the lake, and how we forced Bob to swim across, and she's not very happy about it. But I would think she'd be pleased. After all, Bob is a wretched whore. She deserves ill-treatment."
"I wonder how she knows," Vanessa mused. Her face brightened. "Maybe she's psychic! I bet I could learn a few things. Like how to turn cats back into humans . . ."
Bob smirked at her so-called friends as she slid into the seat. As McGonagall brought the hat down on her head, when it was still a full foot above her dirty, dandruff incrusted, blonde scalp, the hat cried out, "SLYTHERIN!" Apparently, Bob radiated so much evilness, the Sorting Hat didn't even need to read her mind to know that she was vile.
Bob's smirk grew wider as she left the stool and joined a rather vicious-looking group of youngsters at the Slytherin table who would probably all grow up to be punks, thieves, door-to-door salesmen, and used car dealers.
"Figures," Julie muttered after Bob's House had been announced. "Was there ever any doubt where she'd end up?" Julie turned to Valerie, knowing that the other girl would agree, and was surprised to see the worried expression on her face. "What's wrong with you?"
"Bob's in Slytherin . . . that can't be good."
"What's the problem?"
Valerie chewed her lip thoughtfully. "Well, alone, she's just a blonde, too stupid to be anything but harmless. But, if she had friends to help her out. . . Even a herd of blondes can be dangerous when one finds themselves completely outnumbered."
"But this is Bob," Julie reminded her. "Nobody would ever be her friend by choice. And we all know that she can't afford to pay anyone off."
Valerie looked hopeful. "Really?"
"Trust me, if Bob needs friends to be dangerous, we have absolutely nothing to worry about."
After the sorting, the banquet continued with course after course of delicious dining. Along with rabbit stew, Julie ate her other two favorite dishes: lamb chops and goat feet. For being so fond of frolicking animals, she sure did love to eat them. But there was so much to eat (besides cute animals) that even Vanessa, a proclaimed anti-anything-I've-ever-transformed-into eater (which meant she was basically a vegetarian), was completely stuffed by the time dessert rolled around.
After the desserts magically vanished from the tables, just as the other courses had, leaving them as clean and sparkling as they had been before the meal, a rather old man with a long, silver beard and pointy hat stood up from the teacher's table and raised his hand for attention.
"As most of you know," the old man began, "I am Professor Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you. First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. Anyone venturing too near will be given a sound beating by a rather unattractive tree. If any of you manage to make it past the violent tree without a good throttle, you may find it less easy to escape from the rabid centaurs and giant spiders that frequent the forest."
"Icky," Niki twitched, violently shivering all over. "I hate spiders."
"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madame Hooch. And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."
"Sounds like fun," Valerie said. "Who's up for exploring the third-floor before bedtime?" The other Gryffindors, with the exception of Julie, stared at her like she was insane. "Or, you know, I could just hold off the exploring until I accidently manage to get myself locked in the forbidden corridor later this week."
"And now that the banquet is over," Dumbledore continued, "bedtime has arrived at last, off you trot! First years, be sure to follow the prefects. The staircases can be rather tricky, and I'd just feel terrible if one of them accidently led you to the forbidden corridor where you were, sadly, eaten alive by the giant three-headed dog we keep that guards a trap door in the floor. It would truly be one unfortunate string of events your first day. Better wait until later this week."
As the Gryffindors stood from their, table and the first years gathered around the prefects, Julie pondered over what the headmaster had said. "He sure did go into a bit of detail in his last paragraph. Do you think he actually meant to say all of those things?"
"Maybe he's getting a bit senile and he accidently let it all slip," Valerie suggested.
"Maybe . . . But for some reason, I was under the impression that he was saying all of those things just for me to hear them, like he was hinting at something," Julie said.
"That could be it. Or maybe you're just full of yourself."
Before Julie could reply, Professor McGonagall tapped her on the shoulder from behind to get her attention.
"Miss Kwaites," McGonagall said, a serious look on her serious face. "Professor Dumbledore and myself require a meeting with you and your friends before you go to your dormitories. Please gather the others. I'll be waiting for you at the door. I ask that you do not announce this meeting to anyone other than those involved. There are important matters to be discussed, and it would be for the best if we are as discreet as possible."
McGonagall lead Julie and the other senshi (with the exception of Bob, who they successfully managed to lose in the crowd at the Great Hall) through a twisting maze of staircases and down several long, dark corridors. As they traveled in silence, the suspense grew and the farther they went, the more dark and foreboding the shadows seemed to become.
Along the way, the senshi all felt a creepy, tingly sensation running down their spines, as though they were being watched by hundreds of pairs of eyes (which they were). Several of them were even under the crackpot impression that the figures in the thousands of paintings throughout Hogwarts moved at their own will, and were not only watching them, but planning to kill them as well.
Ah, those silly senshi and their paranoid, overactive imaginations.
More than once on the rather long walk, Valerie spun around with bared teeth, both arms in the air, and with her fingers curled into claws, while squatting down on one foot (her "crouching tiger" stance), hoping to frighten off would-be attackers (which probably would have done it, had there actually been any). But every time she looked back, the only thing she saw was a painting hung on the wall or a shiny suit of armor in the corner.
But, she wasn't crazy. They were evil paintings and suits of armor, she assured the others, who only rolled their eyes in response. And yet, at the same time, they moved just a little bit closer together.
The suspense was making them loony. Or, in the case of some, loonier than normal.
By the time McGonagall came to a halt, the paranoid senshi had all been walking backwards for some period of time, watching each other's backs, and praying that if something evil attacked, it would go after the back next to theirs rather than their own. Because none of them had seen the professor stop, they all ended up running into her, and while recovering from that, they ran into each other.
As they picked themselves up off the ground, the senshi apologized profusely to the poor woman, who at this point, was seriously regretting ever letting the headmaster talk her into accepting these pathetically incompetent girls into the school. But what was done was done, and she was pretty sure she'd regret it for the rest of her life. Luckily, if the senshi were the school's only hope against the evil, the rest of her life wouldn't be that long.
"We are about to enter the headmaster's office, and I have a few requests before we proceed to the super, secret meeting," McGonagall said once the senshi were successfully standing again. "First of all, you must not tell anyone what you hear tonight. Information will be revealed to you that must remain secret for the protection of all. Secondly, you MUST NOT touch anything. There are many instruments of magic lying carelessly about that are both extremely powerful and extremely dangerous. Do you understand?"
"Hai," the senshi replied with synchronized nods.
"Very well. This way, please," McGonagall gestured for them to gather under the circled wings of a giant golden griffin that protruded from the wall. Once they were all cramped together on a circular pathway, the griffin began to circle and rise in the air, and as it did, a spiral staircase rose from the floor at their feet which, upon McGonagall's command, they all began to climb.
"This is so cool! I have got to get one of these," Valerie said. "What house isn't complete without a spiraling, golden griffin staircase, I've always said."
"I want one too!" Niki said as she climbed. "Do you think they come in owl?"
They ceased their climb at the top of the stairs in a short hallway covered with various paintings of old men, all with beards, glasses, and pointy hats, and all looking suspiciously like Dumbledore. At the end of the hallway was a single gleaming, oak door.
"Again, I must remind you before we enter," McGonagall said, clearly under the impression that the senshi hadn't listened the first time. And for good reason. "What is said must not be spoken of again outside these doors. DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING." Satisfied now that the warnings had been repeated, the professor led the senshi to the doors at the end which opened upon their approach.
It's just a shame the senshi, once again, hadn't listened.
Dumbledore's office was composed of several rooms, each one large and elegant, and completely packed from the floor to the ceiling with magical instruments, books, and tools of varying shapes and sizes. In other words, it was filled with all kinds of interesting things that the senshi couldn't help but pilfer. When McGonagall left the senshi at the front room in search of Dumbledore, they quickly began stuffing things into their robes, not wanting to miss the golden opportunity.
Niki found a long cape made out of glittering, silvery cloth which she shoved under her robes through the opening at the neck. Valerie picked up a long sword, and being rather fond of shiny, pointy objects, she put it in her pocket.
(Note here: items of the magical variety have no problem changing their shape and density when they are required to fit somewhere small. Which is a good thing because otherwise, the senshi would have had a hard time explaining the random bulks under their clothing. The "I'm pregnant" line only works so many times.)
Eva found a necklace with an hourglass hanging from it which she put around her neck and then under her collar to hide it from view. A wooden flute caught her eye, so Mallory took it along with several magic books that had pretty covers. Since Julie had taken her time selecting an item, she missed out on all the good ones, and settled for a little black diary. Not that she would ever write in it, of course. She was too cool for that.
Vanessa's conscience, meanwhile, was making her feeling guilty about wanting to pocket things, so she refrained from doing so until she saw the decrepit-looking bird that resembled a plucked turkey on a perch in the corner. Being fond of animals, (and since all she had to do was touch one in order to be able to transform into it), she approached the bird and just as she laid her fingers on it, it burst into flame.
Horrified, Vanessa drew back so as to not be burned and watched, open-mouthed, as the bird was consumed in a burning ball of fire until it was nothing more than a pile of ashes. She screamed in alarm.
"What's going on?" McGonagall demanded, referring to Vanessa's cries, as she reentered the room with Dumbledore at her side.
"The bird . . . it just . . . caught fire," Vanessa stuttered. Her face twisted into a mask of apprehension. "There was nothing I could do."
"Oh well, yes," Dumbledore nodded in understanding. "It was about time. He'd been looking rather pathetic for weeks, and I told him to get on with it, but he just wouldn't die, and I've been starving him for over a month now."
"But that's just mean!" Vanessa cried, still horrified.
"No, not really," Dumbledore replied. "Fawkes is a phoenix. Phoenixes burst into flame when it is time for them to die and are reborn from the ashes. It's a shame you had to see him on a Burning Day, he's usually fairly attractive."
"Of course," Vanessa replied, relieved that she had nothing to do with the bird bursting into flame, and that Dumbledore wasn't an animal killer.
"Now that that's settled," McGonagall said, taking a seat and motioning that the others and Dumbledore should take a few as well. "Let's get down to business."
"I'm sure you've gathered by now that we've called you here to Hogwarts for a very important mission," McGonagall said, her voice graver than usual. "News of your abilities has traveled far from your muggle world to reach us here, at Hogwarts. We are in great need of your powers, for I fear that we are besieged by a great evil, far powerful than any we have ever known. Hogwarts is no longer safe. The evil has breeched these walls and is spreading. Soon, I fear, all hope will be lost."
"What is this "great evil"?" Julie asked. The others looked uncomfortable (mostly because they were dreading the moment when they'd have to let the professors know that they were most definitely not the right ones for the job), but Julie had an eager gleam in her eye. That did not bode well for the others.
"I would rather not disclose that information, if you--"
"Nonsense, Professor!" Dumbledore said, cutting her off. "Now is not the time for secrets. We must let them know what they are up against so that they will understand both the extremity of our situation and what they must do to help us. Remember, as I like to quote from the bumper sticker on the back of my car, 'fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself'."
"Very well, Albus." McGonagall took a deep breath. "The evil you are up against is none other than He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!"
"What?" Mallory said. "You mean, Voldemort?"
Dumbledore burst out laughing. "Goodness, no! Voldemort is nothing more than a harmless little rabbit in comparison to You-Know-Who."
"Well, then, who is it?"
"John Watson." (Dum, dum, dum)
"No!" The senshi cried in unison, leaping from their seats in fear and grabbing hold of each other's arms. "Not John Watson!" (Dum, dum, dum).
"Yes," Dumbledore said, signaling for them to sit. "It is as I feared. His evilness has spread so that he is infamous in both our world and that of the muggles. If you've heard of him, then I'm sure you understand how desperate our situation has become. We know little about what may happen, but we do know that an attack is coming. It is only a matter of time before . . ."
"What can we possibly do to help?" Eva asked.
"As I mentioned, rumor of your deeds has traveled far. Not only did you singlehandedly defeated the vile Mr. Mister, but you also were key in the foiling of Caroline St. Ramen's evil plot to invoke the power of the Sleeping Messiah and once again wreak havoc through Pharaoh 130's ascension."
"Oh well, when you put it that way, we do sound rather impressive," Niki agreed.
"For two years now, we have studied your methods of fighting and we know much about the legendary powers you possess. If you are willing to aid us in our own battle by figuring out what it is You-Know-Who is planning and then stopping him (you know, the usual), we would be greatly in debt to you."
"Just think," Dumbledore added. "Even in the muggle world, your abilities have been nothing less than astounding. Now imagine how powerful you may become with the proper training and with so many instruments of magic and destruction at your disposal."
"Instruments of destruction, I like the sound of that," Valerie said. "When do we start?"
"Immediately," McGonagall replied. "You will do go undercover as ordinary students. The teachers know why you have come, and they will do their best to train you accordingly."
"What about the other students? Won't they get suspicious?" Mallory asked. "We're supposed to be first years, but we're a lot older than the other first years. Don't be fooled by our lack of height, we're really not eleven."
"Of course we are aware of that fact," Dumbledore said. "In the muggle world, your powers were not discovered until recently, so it makes since that the same would apply in our world. You're simply late bloomers, that's all. You'll catch on quick enough. Now, be off! Our talk here is done." Dumbledore smiled, a strange twinkle in his eye. "Oh, but feel free to stop by and pick up a few more things if anything else catches your eye."
The senshi stood and headed for the exit, feeling both a little guilty and a lot confused as to why Dumbledore wasn't angry with them for stealing his things.
"I leave you with this," McGonagall said before they were out the door. "You are free to do what is necessary, within reason, for the sake of the school, but we do ask that you come to us whenever you discover anything of value that will help lead to You-Know-Who's destruction or capture. Good luck," she added as the door closed behind them.
It's just a shame the senshi, once again, hadn't listened.